- Published on 23 February 2016
- Written by Online Correspondent
Psychologist Thato says reasons for both men and women cheating boils down to a lack of backbone.
“Women cheat for the same reasons men do, such as lack of discipline to keep their word, lack of integrity to be honest when they are unhappy, and lack of courage to leave and start afresh. All the aforementioned are a big fat lack of backbone.”
1.Sihle, 26, in a relationship says she benefits from cheating.
“I cheat not because I don’t love my man, but truth is love is not enough. My other guy is taking care of things that my man can’t afford.
"I ended up in a situation where I started cheating because one man came into my life and introduced things I never used to get from my boyfriends. The man I was cheating with was married but he gave me enough attention, made me feel special bought my clothes, took me to school. Once a man shows you they can do everything your man can’t, those things attract you to them. He took care of me the way I wanted to be loved and cared for.
“It becomes a vicious cycle and it’s hard to let go of that habit.”
2.Thembi who does not cheat but has a friend who is involved with two men says women are more dangerous cheats than men.
“When women cheat, they are not easily caught. They are actually more dangerous. I know a close friend who is cheating with her man's best friend and they have been keeping it a secret for years.
“I don’t cheat and will never do it. It is easier for a woman to say no to cheating than a man.”
3.Communication assistant Ayanda says she cheated because her man was too busy to give her attention.
“I wasn’t getting enough attention. My man was too busy when I needed him. I turned my time to someone who gave me all the attention. I did not have to ask him to call, visit or sms to remind him that I am his woman, he was willing to sacrifice his weekends and time with his friends just to be with me. I eventually broke it off because of guilt, it’s not in me to cheat. On the other hand, the truth is women never consider other ladies' feelings. They just don’t care. When an opportunity to cheat comes, they will cheat.”
4.Candice says she once cheated on her four-year relationship with her ex boyfriend to give him a taste of his own medicine.
“I cheated because my man was cheating, I just wanted to feel how it’s like to not consider your partners feeling.”
She adds: “He caught me out and it's funny how he was shocked that I could do the same. I did not feel good about cheating instead it made me feel unhappy.
“The guy I was cheating with was also cheating on his woman. She found out and called me pouring out her heart and that was the end. I felt guilty because I had been through the same scenario.”
5.Felicity had a one night stand with her ex boyfriend whilst in a relationship because she still found him attractive.
“I was attracted to bad boys and my ex was exactly that. I was always somehow into him even though we were not together. One time we hooked up with old friends and he happened to be there. I simply cheated because I was attracted to him and wanted an intimate experience with him since we never went that far during our time together.”
NOTE: Names have been changed to protect the identity of of our sources.