‘I caught my wife in bed with my best friend’

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Dear Aunty Lisa,

I hope this letter finds you well. I am writing to share a deeply distressing and heartbreaking situation that has unfolded in my life. Recently, I walked in on my wife and my best friend in bed together, and I am struggling to come to terms with the magnitude of betrayal and pain that I am experiencing.

The shock and devastation I felt in that moment are beyond words. It was a profound betrayal from two people I trusted implicitly. My wife, who promised to be faithful and loyal, shattered that trust in an instant. And my best friend, who I believed had my back through thick and thin, proved to be disloyal in the most hurtful way possible.

The emotions I am grappling with are overwhelming. I am consumed by anger, sadness, and a profound sense of loss. The foundation of my marriage has crumbled, and the friendship I cherished has been irreparably damaged. I am left questioning everything I once believed about love, loyalty, and the people closest to me.

In the midst of this turmoil, I am finding it difficult to navigate the path forward. The pain is deep, and the wounds are raw. I am torn between feelings of wanting to confront them and seek closure, and the realization that it may be healthier for me to distance myself from these toxic individuals.

Aunty Lisa, I am reaching out to you in the hopes of finding some guidance and support during this tumultuous time. How does one begin to heal from such a profound betrayal? How can I rebuild my life and trust again after such a devastating experience? I am in desperate need of advice on how to move forward and regain a sense of stability and happiness.

Please, Aunty Lisa, any words of wisdom or guidance you can offer would be greatly appreciated. I am in a dark place right now, and I am seeking a glimmer of hope and strength to carry me through this unimaginably painful chapter of my life.

Thank you for taking the time to read my letter. Your wisdom and insights would mean the world to me.

Yours sincerely,



Aunty Lisa responds:

Dear Tonderai,

I received your heartfelt letter, and I want you to know that I am here to offer support and guidance during this incredibly difficult time. Discovering such a betrayal from your wife and best friend is undoubtedly devastating, and the emotions you are experiencing are valid.

First and foremost, it’s important to acknowledge and allow yourself to feel the range of emotions that come with this profound betrayal. The anger, sadness, and sense of loss are all completely normal reactions to such a deep breach of trust. Give yourself permission to grieve the loss of your marriage and friendship. Surround yourself with loved ones who can provide comfort and understanding during this challenging period.

Moving forward, it is essential to prioritize your own well-being. Take time for self-care and self-reflection. Engage in activities that bring you solace and help you process your emotions, whether it’s talking to a therapist, journaling, or finding solace in hobbies that bring you joy. Healing will take time, so be patient with yourself and allow the process to unfold naturally.

When it comes to confronting your wife and best friend, it’s important to approach the situation with a clear mind and a sense of self-preservation. Consider whether having a conversation with them will bring you closure or further distress. If you do decide to confront them, try to remain calm and express your feelings honestly, without resorting to anger or aggression. Remember, your healing is the priority, and engaging in toxic or confrontational situations may hinder your progress.

As you navigate the aftermath of this betrayal, it may be helpful to seek professional guidance. A therapist or counselor can provide you with the tools and support needed to process your emotions, rebuild your self-esteem, and regain a sense of trust in the future. They can also assist you in understanding your own role in the situation and help you set boundaries for healthier relationships moving forward.

Lastly, it’s crucial to remember that not all relationships are defined by betrayal. While this experience may have left you feeling disillusioned, it’s important to remain open to the possibility of love, trust, and genuine friendships in the future. Surround yourself with positive influences, engage in activities that bring you fulfillment, and allow yourself to heal and grow from this painful experience.

Please know that you are not alone during this challenging time. Reach out to your support network, seek professional help if needed, and be patient with yourself as you embark on the journey of healing and rebuilding your life.

Wishing you strength, resilience, and a brighter future ahead.

With care,

Aunty Lisa

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