I am madly in love with my friend's boyfriend

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Dear Aunty Lisa

I knew my friend's boyfriend before they met each other. I worked with him when I was still in school and we became really close. We spent most of our free time together and I also slept with him a few times. I developed strong feelings for him and I often think that we might have become more than just friends if I hadn't left for university. I've never been in a relationship before and I didn't say anything at the time. I was very sad when I had to move to the other end of the country for uni and I missed him pretty much every day. I tried not to talk to him too often to make it easier to move on I guess he did the same.

When I went back home during my summer break, he was with someone else. I spent quite a lot of time with him and I also got to know his girlfriend. I initially felt really jealous but I soon realised that we actually got on well and we became friends. I've never mentioned anything about what happened and how I feel to either of them. When I'm around the couple, I get the impression that my friend's boyfriend still likes me. He often gives me more attention than his own girlfriend and he makes flirty comments all the time. I once went to a house party and they were both there and he was talking to me all night. He even stayed after his girlfriend left.

I've finished uni now and I'm back home. I still have strong feelings for this guy and I feel like he's the only one that 'gets' me. I feel really bad and I would never act on it because it wouldn't be fair on my friend but I just can't help it. The worst thing is that he seems to like me too. I'm not sure if I should talk to him but I hardly ever get to spend time with him alone because he lives with his girlfriend. I've met other guys at uni and I liked them for a while but not in the way I liked him. It didn't work out with any of them and it was quite easy to move on. Not in this case though, I just can't seem to move on.


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