PLEASE HELP: I really love my girlfriend but I can't afford bride price her parents are asking for


Dear Aunty Lisa

I wonder what this world is turning into, I mean how in Jesus’ Name would I have to pay crazy amount to marry the queen of my dreams? I know it is the tradition in Masvingo Province, but something has to be done before our daughters start going mad just because their parents desire to milk men dry.

I have being dating Sharai for some years, right before her graduation from NUST. Everyone loves me in the family, and there is no doubt the father wants me to marry her, at least that was what I thought was happening until two weeks ago when I was presented with one of the longest and most expensive traditional wedding list I have ever seen in my life.

I do not wish to divulge the contents of the lists, but it symbolizes lunacy, and I feel embarrassed and disturbed to say the least. The truth is I won’t let go of the love I have for Sharai, but the thought of what I saw on that list scares and worried me a lot. Someone suggested that I should talk to the girl’s parents or better still go with some family friends to express my fears, but that too didn’t work because the father said there was nothing he could to help me out.

Sharai too is not helping matters because she keeps insisting that there is nothing much she can do. She said I am even lucky because her immediate elder sister attracted a higher bridal price. This saddens me a lot because I feel like her family wants to cash-in on me. I have been kind, and liberal with that family, and instead of trying to cash-in on me, I should be treated with love and respect.

It is obvious that the entire family knows how much I love their daughter, but that in itself is the reason they want to take advantage of me. Sadly, I may not be able to come up with that kind of bride price, and still organize a befitting white wedding. Even if I come up with that kind of money, am I going to ever forgive my in-laws for the way I am being treated at moment?

I can raise the money, but I have a feeling that it is going to create a wound too difficult to heal in my heart after the wedding. Or should I let her go?

What should I do?

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