ADVICE: Should I help my broke partner pay lobola?


Dear Aunty Lisa

I HAVE been living with my partner for the past six years and we have two children together.

He says he wants to marry me, but the problem is that he doesn’t have the money for lobola and feels that if he starts saving now, by the time we get married, one of our children will be finishing school and we will be getting ready to retire.

I have been saving money in my emergency fund for years and I am tempted to help him pay lobola for me.

Is this a good or bad idea? By paying lobola for myself, it kind of feels like I am marrying myself or do you think I am overthinking this?

I know if I borrow him the money, he will pay me back at a later stage.

Help me make sense of this entire situation.


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