Dear Aunty Lisa
I’m struggling with something lately. Me and my wife are married now for a year and have one beautiful kid. We were both raised by Christian families and believed in no se_x before marriage.
We were married young and we are now in our mid-thirties. I was a vir_gin when we married and I believed she was because that’s what she told me.
Looking back I had some doubts but did not want to dwell on it as I loved her so much. The problem now is that in a conversation recently she mentioned a boyfriend while in college.
I thought I was her first boyfriend. When I pressed her harder she admitted to having had se_xual relations with this boy and did not want to tell me as she was afraid she would lose me.
I am devastated. I feel she betrayed my trust. Now I’m constantly dwelling on this and it’s affecting my day-to-day life. I’m afraid to talk to my friends as they knew all along we maintained purity before marriage.
I feel embarrassed and it has affected the way I look at her. It’s like I have been living a lie all along.
So far our marriage has been beautiful and enjoyable. But now I feel like I don’t know who she is any more.
What shall I do? I thought of seeking counselling but I also feel that our society as it is today will not understand my predicament.