HELP: My boyfriend is threatening to leave me if I don’t have sex with him, I don’t want to lose him


Dear Aunty Lisa

My name is Yvette, a 32-year-old lady who has gone through a lot of hurt in the hands of men in the past. When I was in my early 20s, I had some relationships that I thought would lead to marriage but in the end, I was used and dumped by the men after I had invested everything in the relationships including my body.

It happened on more than five occasions and at one time, I had to give my life to Christ and took a decision that any man who really wanted to marry me must not be in a hurry to have sex with me till we got married.

I met this wonderful man, Munya, in church early last year and he has all the qualities of the kind of man I would love to spend my life with. When we started dating, I told him of my decision to wait till marriage before having sex and he agreed to that and even praised me for taking that decision.

But after our introductions in September, Munya has given me an ultimatum that if we do not start having sex, he would pull out of the marriage. His reasoning is that he does not know if I will be able to satisfy him in bed.

But being born again Christians, I have told him we would be committing a sin before God but he is very adamant and has told me he must have sex with me before we can get married.

I am in a dilemma right now as I do not want to break the vow I made before God and also do not want to lose Munya.

I need advice please.


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