PLEASE HELP: How do I tell my virgin girlfriend that I am HIV positive


Hi Aunt Lisa

I’m 30, male and positive for 3 years now, no medications, good CD4 and viral load – basically very healthy. I’ve been seeing this girl for 1 year – she’s 25 and a virgin and she wants to have sex with me.

She knows that I’m not a virgin and we agreed we’d wear a condom when we did it. Should I tell her my status. We feel like we’re in love but I’ve held out both for her and the HIV – but now she’s pushing me and yesterday she quipped ‘what’s the problem?, it’s not like you have AIDS right haha?’

I just kind of shrugged off the question and said no’ – which is kind of true considering I’m only positive and not below CD4 200. Should I tell and if so how? I’m afraid she’ll leave me if I do tell her but she’ll also leave if this sexual tension we both have for each other isn’t released!!

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