I’m falling in love with my friend with benefits but he doesn’t want a relationship with me — Help!


Dear Aunty Lisa

FOR six years, I have been having sex with an amazing guy (friend with benefits) and I am falling in love with him.

He doesn’t want a relationship with me but sex with him is so good I can’t give him up.

We first met at a college disco ten years ago. We had a few dates back then but I was young and stupid. He finished with me after I flirted with his best friend.

I bumped into him again six years ago.

I often pick up a latte on my way to work and one morning he was in the coffee shop.

He told me he had recently moved back to the area and we arranged to meet for a drink after work a few days later.

We got on really well and he asked if we could meet again.

We started seeing each other and soon were having sex — which was brilliant — but things were still fairly casual.

He is 28, I am 26 and we are both single. He has a good job and a decent family.

He treats me with a lot of respect, like a girlfriend. We have a laugh and a good time when we are out together. He always tells me what a great person I am and how beautiful I am.

My mum has met him and loves him. She has always said we should be together.

I asked him last week if he would consider a relationship with me but he said no.

He said he wouldn’t want to risk a relationship ending on bad terms and not having me in his life.

I said that would never happen but he insisted he is just not a relationship person. I am heartbroken. I know he has feelings for me, as he had told my friends how much he admires me.

Now I feel bad, as I had the chance to be with him years ago and I messed up.

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