Dear Aunty Lisa
I am writing to get your advice. I am presently going through a divorce. My wife and I have been married for six years and childless. She seems to be barren. I tried to talk her into adopting a child. She and I are in good jobs. I am in a managerial position. Money is not an issue between us. She says she loves children, but when my brothers’ children are around, she doesn’t warm up to them.
I am now 40 years old. I got involved with a 23-year-old woman. My wife found out about her because I wanted her to. This girl called me at the house and my wife demanded that I should stop her from calling the house. I did not. I wanted her to be jealous and to see if I could get her to change. It never changed her.
When this young woman said no to me because I am married, I told her that my marriage was not going to work. I lied to her. She does not have a boyfriend, so we slept together and now she is pregnant. My wife insists that I must stop seeing her, but I cannot, so we have decided to get a divorce. She has been harassing the young woman and I am angry about it. Things could have been different between my wife and myself if she had only cooperated with me. I know I am wrong to have an affair, but I need a child.
Why should I work so hard and leave everything I have for nieces and nephews? I told my wife we don’t have to have a divorce, but she insists she wants out. For the past seven months I have not had sex with my wife. I still love my wife, but I cannot walk away from the woman who is carrying my child.