‘My sister’s boyfriend bought me new sneakers, when I went to collect them he had sex with me’


Dear Aunty Lisa

I am 24 years old and I have a matter that I would like to talk to you about. I have a steady boyfriend now, but when I was growing up, I never kept a steady boyfriend. I started to have sex when I was 15 years old. I have two other sisters – one is older and the other is younger. My older sister’s boyfriend took my virginity, but I never said anything to anybody. He used to come to the yard to visit my sister. Everybody in the family knew him.

One day I was there alone, when he brought patties for her. He was driving his company’s vehicle. He was waiting for her, and then he asked me if I wanted the patties because he would give them to me and come back to see my sister at another time. I took the patties from him, and then he told me how I looked pretty and he always admired me. He went away. But soon after, he called me and asked if my sister was back, and I told him no.


In a few minutes, he came back and brought some more patties. He said that I should give those to her. He asked me if I ever had sex, and I told him no. He asked me for sex, and I told him that I was afraid. He told me to think about it for another time.

Four months after, I needed a pair of sneakers and he bought it for me. He told me that I should not tell my sister. When I went to get it from him, he took me to his grandmother’s house and had sex with me. I never told anybody.

My father had a son who didn’t grow up with us. One night, the people next door to us had a wake, and he slept at our house. All of us slept together. My half-brother had sex with me. I was over 16 at that time. When I couldn’t get money to buy the things I needed as a girl, guys gave me money to buy them, including one of the men who was friendly with my mother, but we did not have sex.

Now, I have changed my life, and I have this boyfriend who is asking me all kinds of questions about my past. The more I tell him, is the more he wants to know. I told him that I would hate him if he does not stop asking me personal questions. Should I tell him about my half-brother? He says he wants us to get married, but he wants a perfect girl.

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