Hie Aunty Lisa
My husband and I, 33 and 27, have been happily married for three years, but have always struggled with intimacy.
From the start, my husband has always been pretty happy just cuddling in bed with occasional sex here and there.
We have been able to compromise with the frequency of sex, but one issue has remained. He does not seem very “in tune” to me while we’re being intimate. For example, while I give him oral sex, most times he lays there and doesn’t put a single finger on my body.
I look up at him from time to time and he looks like he’s in another world. He doesn’t touch or grab me or finger me to let me know he’s enjoying it or wanting me.
In fact, I’d guess he were asleep if it weren’t for his erection. Again, during intercourse, he does not touch my body much. I would love for him to get aggressive with me, squeeze me, throw me around, or just simply caress me but I really get nothing. He also always wants me to be on top and he just lays there.
I don’t feel the desire on his end. I assume he enjoys it because he does always orgasm by the end. I’ve only orgasmed with him three times in the last three years. I don’t even mind not having orgasms with him as I know this is difficult but I would love more passion and desire on his end.
I’ve talked to him about this multiple times over the years and nothing really changes. I tell him that I feel he’s not that into it and that I don’t feel desired. He just doesn’t seem to get it. I don't want to look for a boyfriend. What should I do?