HELP: Dreadlocked hubby says he's a defender of Selassie, wants me to stop eating meat or using salt


Dear Aunty Lisa

I am writing to you for the second time. I am 27 years old and I am married. I got married when I was 24.

My husband was a very clean man. He used to always shave. We went to live at a certain area in Chitungwiza and he got into the wrong group of guys.

I would call him two to three times per night and he would tell me he was coming home, but just enjoying darts.

Sometimes he came home after I have gone to bed because I could not stay up.

Gradually, my husband started to tell me that he didn't like the way I was carrying myself. My skirts were too short and I should not use salt when I was cooking for him.

I love to cook stew peas, but had to stop because he did not want me to have anything to do with meat. I asked for a compromise.

My mother does not live very far from us, so one weekend I bought pig's tail and put it away because I was unable to get to my mother to give to her and to ask her to cook it for me.

My husband found it and threatened to throw it away, but he didn't.

He started to grow his hair long and everything I did was wrong. I am a Sunday worshipper and my husband was one too, but he changed and was defending the Sabbath.


I told him that he could do what he wanted but he should leave me alone and allow me to worship my way. He says he is a defender of Haile Selassie and that Jesus is a white man.

We do not have children. I always wanted children, but now my mind has changed. I don't want to have children with my husband.

When I told him so, he said that I didn't want to have children with him because I saw somebody in the church. That is not true, Aunty, but my life has become miserable.

To please him, I have to be cooking two pots, one with salt and one without. I like to wear pants, but my husband does not want me to wear pants anymore.

The guys he is moving with are almost all Rastas. He does not want me to talk to anybody about the problems we are having. What should I do?


Breaking News via Email

Enter your email address to subscribe to our website and receive notifications of Breaking News by email.