'I'm feeling depressed, hurt & angry because my ex boyfriend achieved so much with new girlfriend'

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Dear Aunty Lisa

I need your help. I’m in my early 20s and I live in Harare in the northern suburbs. I was in a relationship with a guy who was very handsome, light-skinned, and really charming; but he was mean.

He came to my workplace to shop and the moment he walked through the door I had eyes on him. He looked rich, and before he was done shopping he had my number.

We spent hours talking on the phone and two days after I met him, we met up at a popular shopping centre in Avondale.

We had sex. I felt cheap; however, he didn’t seem to think less of me. We got involved. Wherever and whenever we got the chance, we had sex.

But this guy was mean to me and after he was involved in an accident and lost his job, I was the one who fed him, or he would have starved.

Another Guy

I met this other guy who was working at a hotel and lived across from my workplace.

He was not handsome, but he started giving me money before we even had sex. He had a girlfriend at the time.

She worked at the same place, but she had her own home. So any little chance I got, I would go by his place and have sex. He always gave me money.

I realised that this side guy started finding excuses, but it was because his girlfriend started coming by often.

One lunch time when I went there, I took her number out of his phone. I started texting and calling her. I even called her while having sex, and this caused them to have a big fight.

Then I would present myself to comfort him. He started spending more time with me and gave me almost RTGS$2 000 when I told him I had something important to do.

He even gave me his Steward bank card to withdraw money.

This got me really excited, so I decided she had to go.

One day, the side guy found out that I was the one terrorising his girlfriend, so he told me that I was a troublemaker and he couldn’t trust me, so he shunned me.

I was upset, so I was still terrorising this girl, and soon after she left him.

My real boyfriend and I also broke up.

His New Girl

Now he’s with a new girl and I was shocked when I found out she was the woman I used to terrorise with the side man.

I realised that things have been going on great for them. He used to come to me with ideas of starting a business, but I used to give him the cold shoulder because I wasn’t going to sit around with a dreamer.

They both started a couple of small businesses and I realised it was some of the same ideas he used to tell me.

I feel so stupid and will do anything to get him back, but he doesn’t want me. They have cars. She is a nurse and he now has a good job. I got jealous and I started terrorising this girl again.

One day, I was texting the girlfriend’s phone and sending her things the guy said and things he didn’t.

She started calling me some names. So I texted his phone and screenshot what she sent to me to him and told him she’s texting me.

He said he knew because he’s the one with her phone. He realised that I was really the problem; he cursed me and blocked me.

Now it seems I pushed him far away, because he hates me now. She hates me too, and she found out I was hiding behind my number.

I got worried because she called me and told me that whenever she sees me she is going to beat me up.

She threatened me that if I didn’t stop calling her phone, she knew where to find me. She even reported me to the police and they called me and warned me to leave her alone.

I’m feeling depressed, hurt and angry because he achieved so much with another woman. That was supposed to be me.


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