I live with my broke boyfriend but I fool around with a rich man who is very kind to me. Help!


Dear Aunty Lisa

I am 20 and I am having a problem. I live with my boyfriend, but I am friendly with another man who is very kind to me. My boyfriend doesn’t have much money.

We are living with his grandmother, who is 80. She is still strong, but she doesn’t want him to live at her house with a woman.

She told me that would bring a curse on her because as a Christian, she shouldn’t allow anybody who is related to her to be living together in the house with a girlfriend or boyfriend. They should be married.

My boyfriend told her that she has to love the woman he is going to marry. He had a girlfriend before me and his grandmother loved her because her parents were a part of her church. But he said that the girl was lazy and she didn’t cook, and when he came home from work, he had to rely on the food his grandmother cooked.

His grandmother had to make him breakfast, too.

One day, they had a fight and he threw her things outside and that was the end of it. He had some money, but he spent it to take care of his grandmother.


I am not ready to get married as yet and I don’t want a private wedding. I want my friends to attend. There are two other brothers, but they don’t help their grandmother because she told them that she is giving her house to my boyfriend.

So, they said that he should take care of her until she dies. That is not fair, because their mother died many years ago and it was their grandmother who took care of them and sent them to school.

My boyfriend doesn’t make much and that is the reason why I keep another man, but he doesn’t know that.

I don’t use where I am living as my address. I use my sister’s address. This guy does not live in Harare. Any day he tells me that he is coming to Harare, I will stop corresponding with him because I don’t want to break up with my boyfriend.

Sometimes I feel like I should stop taking his money, but I need the money to help me to go to college.

Sometimes when I get money and my boyfriend questions me, I tell him that it is my uncle who sent it. He knows my uncle, so he believes me. My sister knows that I am fooling around, but she wouldn’t tell my boyfriend.

What should I do?

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