Dear Aunty Lisa
I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost 7 months now. We love each other and get on amazingly well. However…he doesn’t initiate sex with me. In the day he can be all over me, hugging and kissing me, holding my hand, saying how pretty I look and how attractive he thinks I am. This is all very well but I wish he’d show it in the bedroom!
When we try have sex (usually initiated by myself) he finds it difficult to have an erection. I feel this is the root of the problem and is why he doesn’t initiate sex with me. We’ve spoken about this many times trying to get to the root of the problem but with no luck! The funny thing is that throughout the day, he has no difficulty getting erect, but when it comes to having sex…this is another matter.
A big problem now is that when I feel in the mood for sex I tend to fantasize about other people, including one of my exes who I was very sexually active with. I feel guilty for doing this, but find it difficult to fantasies about my current boyfriend as we hardly have sex!!!
Please can someone offer me any advice about how to talk to my boyfriend about sex, how to make out relationship bit more spicy and whether I’m a bad person for fantasizing and thinking about my ex sometimes!! My relationships at the moment is going brilliantly in every department apart from this…
I’d really appreciate your readers’ comments as well, Thanks.