Dear Aunty Lisa
I am 21 years old and I was living with a man. The relationship started because I was in need. I had lost my job and was owing two months’ rent and I did not know what to do.
So, this guy who was a co-worker of mine, used to always talk to me and tell me how I looked good. I did not like him as a lover, just as a co-worker.
But the other girls at the workplace always told me that he loved me. Sometimes he would bring snacks for me.
When I lost my job and couldn’t pay my rent, I told him. He came by one day to see me after he got his pay and he gave me enough money to pay one month’s rent.
I asked him for a loan and he said he did not have any more money because he gave his child’s mother $2 500 to help to buy stuff for her to go back to school.
I told him I did not know that he had children and he said he had four, but he was not living with any of his children’s mothers.
I told him I did not have any money to buy groceries and he took me to the supermarket and used his credit card. Then he started to visit me almost every evening.
On Friday nights, he would sleep over. He paid up my back rent, but then another rent was due. I didn’t ask him for it, but I told him.
So he gave me half the money. He never asked me if he could move in, but he moved his clothes piece by piece and I didn’t say anything, because I needed his help.
The biggest fight I had with him was over sex. He always wanted us to have sex ‘skin to skin’ and I was afraid.
My sister is younger than I and she has two children, because the guy who she was with did not believe in using the condom. He said he did not want to waste his seed on the ground.
One month, I did not see my period and I fretted. I thought I was pregnant, but I wasn’t. My period was just late in coming.
Whenever I told him I could not have unprotected sex, he said it was because I had found a man and I didn’t need him anymore.
To make matters worse, one evening he came to the house and saw one of my male friends and he questioned the man. I was so embarrassed.
That caused us to temporarily break up. He has been calling me and asking me to forgive him, but I don’t know what to do. He says I am ungrateful.
Do you think that I am ungrateful to this man?