Dear Aunty Lisa
I am 24 years old and I am the only girl for my mother. I live with mama in Harare. She has five boys, but two of them are living in Bulawayo.
My mother loves men. While growing up, I have never known my mother to have one man as her boyfriend, and she never kept her male friends for long. She was always going out at nights. I wouldn’t say that she was a pr0stitute, but she would leave me in the house with my brothers, and sometimes she didn’t come home until the following day.
I saw my mother having se_x twice, with two different men, and she warned me not to say anything to any of my brothers. Once I saw her having oral se_x. I found myself sleeping in the couch in the living room. I did not know a man was in the room with my mother. So I went in and there was my mother and a man engaging in se_x.
When my mother saw me come in, she sent me back in the living room to lie down. I never forgot what I saw. When nobody was at home, my mother told me she was going to beat me because I came into the bedroom.
I begged her not to beat me because I didn’t know a man was in the room with her, and I always sleep on the bed with her. She said all right and that she won’t beat me, but that I shouldn’t tell my brothers what I saw. She asked if I recognised the man and I told her no.
I was half-asleep, Aunty. I did not go to bed on the couch. I believe that when my mother came home, she wanted to use the room with the man, so she lifted me up and put me on the couch.
I am planning to get married very soon, but my mother does not like my boyfriend. She says that she knows his people, but she hasn’t told me where she knows them from. I asked her if my boyfriend’s father and herself had a relationship and she hasn’t answered.
Do you think that is the problem? I can’t let my boyfriend know that my mother doesn’t like him, because anywhere she wants to go or if she need any help, he will take her or give me his car to take her. All my brothers and my boyfriend are good friends. I am finishing up a course I am doing, and it is my boyfriend who is paying for me to do this course.
I would like to know how you feel about my problem.