Dear Aunty Lisa
My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost a year and a half now, and everything is great, I couldn’t have found a more caring, wonderful person. He even loves to spend time with my family. I know he is planning on proposing soon, and for the most part, I am really excited about this. I love him. But we have some really big issues when it comes to our se_x life, or lack thereof. He’s starving me of se_x.
A few months after we started dating, we had se_x, or I guess that’s what you could call it. Anyway, I wasn’t complaining, even at 25, I didn’t have a ton of experience – I had only been with two other men. But then he never wanted to work on this issue, never wanted to approach it. Instead we would make out and then he would just prematurely stop at a certain point. I felt like I was in high school again. Eventually, about a year into the relationship he came clean and admitted that he was a vir_gin, had lied to me and had sort of freaked out when we slept together.
I was upset at first that he had been lying for an entire year, but I can understand how difficult it can be for a guy to admit that and then to admit that he was lying. However, and he hasn’t been able to get past this, and I have just about given up on ever having se_x again. Actually, I put an end to any physical relationship between us almost 6 months ago just out of sheer frustration.
I have tried talking to him about this so many times, I have tried everything short of counseling and I just don’t know what to do. I have asked him if this is something he wants to wait till marriage for and he denies that…I guess I just don’t know what to do. I love him, and I know he loves me…but how can I resign myself to this for the rest of my life, at the same time how can I break up with a guy that I so want to be with? I’m human, I want good se_x.
I am tempted to also get a lover who will satisfy me se_xually but I need advice before I do something stupid.
Dear readers, you have heard from ‘Desperate’. On Ask Aunty Lisa today, we want to ask: What would you do if your lover starves you of se_x? Drop your replies in the comments section below.