My husband wants me to quit my job and relocate with him to his rural Njanja village — Help!


Dear Aunty Lisa

I got married like three years ago. I am in my late 30s while my husband is in his late 40s. We have a daughter together.

Trouble started when my husband lost his job about a year ago. He changed completely from the man he was to a complete stranger.

He became vicious and full of anger. I work for an NGO and I earn a good USD salary. He has refused to do even menial jobs to survive pending when he gets another well paying job. Hakuna mabasa these days.

Whenever he’s ranting, I just keep quiet, he gets to a point he’ll be asking me ‘won’t you say anything?’ I’ll tell him no, then another side of rant starts that am now making him look like a fool. If I talk, problem, if I don’t talk, another problem

In February, he told me that by April, we shall all be relocating to his village to start new life there. He insists that if I don’t leave my work and leave with him back to his Njanja village by this April, I should consider our marriage over.

I asked him why I should leave a lucrative job that carter’s for our only daughter, myself, including his late brother’s kids who live with us and follow him to the village, what will I be doing there? He said we will start farming.

I love my husband, I love him to a fault, but this ultimatum is threatening our marriage, I’ve spoken to his family, they seem to be in support that I move back to the village with him.

Please help me, I don’t want to lose my marriage, but I won’t want to give up this job, that’s where I also foot my aged parents medical bills from. This is my predicament.

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