Help! My boyfriend says he’ll dump me if I don’t have se_x with him. What should I do?


Dear Aunty Lisa

I have a boyfriend and who claims is a Christian. Whenever he talks to me about se_x, I feel embarrassed. I have never had se_x in my life. I am a proud virg_in. I am 19 years old and he is 24. I love him very much. Last week, he told me that he has to break up with me because I deny him se_x. He told me that he is not having se_x with anybody, and I believe him. We both live in Harare.

But every day he thinks about me and keeps begging me for se_x. He talks to me before going to bed AND he mastur_bates a lot.

He even told me that his babymother told him that she would help him out by giving him a little se_x if I don’t want to sleep with him, but he would have to use a cond0m. When he was 21 they had a child together. They are not together anymore, and she has a boyfriend. He is a soldier and whenever he is going to visit her, he tells her.

This girl is very bad, and since they broke up he became a Christian and we met. He has opened my eyes to many things. He promises that he will not dump me if we have se_x. I am going to Bulawayo to work during the summer. I need money to pay for my school fees.

Aunty, is mastur_bation wrong? I think it is. But if I tell him not to mastur_bate, he is going to ask me when I am coming to give him something. I do not want to f0rnicate. Sometimes I feel so confused. Maybe we should break off the relationship, so I wouldn’t think about him.

I warned him about seeing his babymother, and he is concerned about my going to Bulawayo for the summer and the fact that I will not be able to see him or to talk to him often.

My parents know him, but they don’t know that he has a babymama. I don’t feel I should tell them about that as yet. Do you think I should give him my puss_y? I don’t want to get married until I graduate from university and I have two more years to go. I don’t know if my boyfriend can wait so long. If we were to break up, he can get another girlfriend easily because he is very handsome and has a good job.

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