PLEASE HELP: Why do guys only want to have se_x with me?


Dear Aunty Lisa

I have always had issues with men. It stems from my dad, who committed suicide when I was a baby. I never thought that this actually affected me at all until I got older.

Still, I denied it for a long time, but even my mom would tell me that I needed to fix my problems with the male population. I was always afraid of men: my chiropractor, a male nurse, the guy bagging the groceries, even my stepdad. It was like a fear/hate relationship with literally every guy I met.

I didn’t really understand my problem until I got my first boyfriend. I left for college at 18. All of my friends had had numerous boyfriends and se_xual escapades already, and I felt like there was something seriously wrong with me that I was a freshman in college and I hadn’t even had my first ki_ss.

Enter my first boyfriend. I should have seen the red flags sooner, and I did see them, I just didn’t exactly think they were red flags. He was my first ki_ss, the first night I ever met him. For months and months we were practically dat_ing, but we weren’t dat_ing. He wouldn’t date me because he “didn’t want to hurt me and ruin our amazing friendship.” I told him I wouldn’t have se_x with him unless we were dat_ing.

I suppose that’s the reason why eventually he asked me to be his girlfriend. I was so excited I thought I was in love. And, more importantly, I thought he really liked me and cared about me. Two weeks into our relationship, he cheated on me on my 18th birthday.

The aftermath was typical heartbreak stuff: sobbing to my mom, blocking his number, you know the drill. When I went home for winter break, I felt like I had finally gotten over him. I didn’t feel resentment or anger anymore when I thought about him.

Then comes the next guy on my very short r0mance journey. Long story short, I lost my virgi_nity to him and then he ghosted me. This hurt almost as much as my boyfriend cheating on me. I gave him something that I can never get back. To him, I was just another girl he could brag to his friends about fucking, but to me he was the guy I really liked and will always remember as the person I lost my virgi_nity to.

After all of that, all of the pain from my first relationship came back. Now I’m just as heartbroken as I was before, plus a little more.

Every time I tell people how I feel, they say the same thing: “Men are garbage. There’s nothing wrong with you, you’ll find the right person eventually.” It’s not that I’m trying to find the person I’m gonna marry right now, I just want to meet a man, r0mantic or otherwise, who doesn’t end up being a huge disappointment.

I know that I shouldn’t feel like there’s something wrong with me and that’s why guys walk all over me, but I do. People tell me to just not feel that way, but what do I do if I do feel that way and I want to know how to feel better?

I mean, am I just completely unlovable? Why do guys only want to have se_x with me, never more? They don’t even want to be my friend. I feel like I’ll never have the answers I’m looking for.

Breaking News via Email

Enter your email address to subscribe to our website and receive notifications of Breaking News by email.