Dear Aunty Lisa
Before lockdown, I began an affair with a married woman. She told me I was her soulmate and no one had ever made her feel like I did. Those feelings were reciprocated. After much indecision and heartache, she left her husband and I left my wife so we could start a new relationship together.
Very quickly we discovered she was preg_nant. That put a lot of pressure on our relationship. Although we had wanted a child together (her first, my second), the speed at which it happened made things difficult between us. I did not cope well, but I didn’t want the relationship to end.
A couple of weeks later she had a scan and told me that the child was her husband’s. She sent me a copy of the scan report, then ended our relationship. I queried the paternity – I had consulted a midwife and, given the dates, I believe the child is mine – but she became upset and told me she was sure.
I don’t know what to do. She is very clear that she wants a calm and happy preg_nancy, without any additional stress. She is working hard to rebuild her relationship with her husband, who knows nothing about me. She has broken off all contact between us. I am heartbroken that the relationship is over, but I want to respect her wishes and not upset her. I intend to put money aside every month for the child so that if and when I need to provide support, I can do so. I am thinking of taking the child to Tinashe Mugabe for DNA tests when she gives birth. What is the right thing, ethically, to do?