DEAR MEN: Never marry these 7 types of women if you want to live a long and happy life

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File: Man proposing to a girl

For a long time men have been advised to give party girls a clear path. Party girls, it has been synonymously agreed are a terrible mistake. She will drink herself silly, flirt with other men in the bar and spoil your name. Let’s leave party girls alone today. There are women who are far worse than party girls; women whose association to a man spells his doom. Let’s sample these women so that our relatives don’t get entangled with them.

1. Dorry the perpetually unfaithful

You have dated her for two years. What you have endured is untold misery. It was her boss she was involved with. Because you love her and if you leave her there will be massive destruction from space on planet earth, you stay with her. You find very suggestive messages in her phone. She’s in another illicit affair. The cycle continues, and you have literally lost count of her escapades. Well, she will bear children that are not yours. Your name will be tarnished. More than half your friends will have something to do with her. Leave her and marry Jacky the not so hot but faithful and homely woman.

2. Aggie the in law hater

Now, Aggie is bad news. When your relatives visit, she snorts and swells like a python on National Geographic. She looks and daggers your way when you mention your mama or send her money. She can’t even be friends with your sister who is her age mate and they happen to have been in the same college. There’s nothing like independence from your family. Aggie is trying to alienate you from your family. Leave her alone and marry Suzy whom you have been ignoring. Suzy brings your mama Zambias and can’t stop laughing with your sister in the kitchen. Let Aggie swell and swallow her hate for your relatives.

3. Mercy the Ninja

No one knows where Mercy learnt Kung-fu. What is for sure is that she has fought with boys right from primary school all the way to college. When an argument can be solved amicably, Mercy can’t hear any of it. She breaks your Luminarc glasses, which you sold a kidney to buy, and utters explicit your way. With men being battered by the wives, stay away from Mercy. She will threaten to beat you up, feign your death and disappear without a trace.

4. Monicah, the self-proclaimed and absorbed beauty queen

It’s good to have a beautiful woman by your side. However, the problem with your girlfriend Monicah is that she cares for nobody but herself. Her self-absorption won’t let her. She is also petty and will spend a whole hour before the mirror yet your meal is not ready, your clothes have not been pressed and the baby isn’t fed. If you marry Monicah, yours will be a lousy home and consequently your children will be badly brought up.

5. Sarah, the bitter and angry woman

No one knows why Sarah is always angry and bitter. Maybe it’s because prices are high or because her favorite station on DStv can’t air soap operas for 8 straight hours. Whatever it is, Sarah is bitter and impossible. Marrying Sarah is wrapping you around her anger and bitterness. Your life will be punctuated by her impossible tantrums over trivial issues. Leave Sarah alone. Take Cathy, the ever jovial and bouncy woman. She will make your marriage life bearable brother.

6. Winnie the material girl

She loves everything money can buy. If she is not shopping, she’s making a list of what to buy. Winnie does everything to appear classy and show friends she can afford it all. You will die poor and unhappy. If you can’t answer to her materialistic whims, she will find someone else to do it. Don’t marry Winnie.

7. Caro the lazy and dirty Woman

Caro never shaves. Her stuff is dirty and untidy. Her house is like Pomona dumpsite. She never cares about personal hygiene. You will see her with heels that have not been cleaned, her house windows are dirty and there’s always a heap of dishes in her sink. Allow me to tell you that your kids will be the dirtiest in the estate and many times, you won’t bring your friends because your house is dirty. Why marry Caro with all her dirt?

— The Standard


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