PLEASE HELP: Can I loan lobola money to my boyfriend?

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File pic: Worried woman

Hi Aunty Lisa

My boyfriend and I have been dating for four years.

Over the last year and a half, things have gotten serious and he has made his intentions known that he wants to marry me.

As a result, he’s been trying to save up and over the past year he’s even been picking up extra shifts at work and working on the side to save up money for lobola.

This past weekend his family met my family to negotiate lobola and they asked for US$6 000 which is much more than the US$4 000 he has.

My family is very strict, and they’ve said the wedding won’t go ahead unless he meets their demands.

My boyfriend has asked me to loan him the money and he says he’ll pay me back after the wedding.

I feel bad because I know how hard he’s worked, and I don’t want my demanding family to be the reason why I lose such a committed man and I do have the money.

But on the other hand, I know that loaning him money like this is risky and I might not get it back and I also feel like he might lose respect for me if I agree to give him the money.

This is also against the tradition of lobola and I think it will cause problems in our marriage. Please help, I don’t know what to do.


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