Even despite the ease with which you can get divorced due to divorce services, there are other significant changes, especially on a personal level. Thinking about new beginnings is normal as apart from all the challenges that you are to face – a divorce also means a chance of a better life, a new start of you. Once you have divorced with a divorce do it yourself kit in your hands, the time has come to think about the future.
5 Stages to Go Through After a Divorce in Order to Move on
Because every divorce, even a cheap legal divorce online with OnlineDivorcer, also means death to some extent, the death of a marriage, most of the separation stories continue even after the five psychological phases. These stages are:
- Denial. The denial usually takes place in the run-up to the separation. One spouse believes that marriage can still be saved and desperately tries to bring back the lost. This is a large mistake. Ambivalence is the worst thing. The fear of a wrong decision remains until complete exhaustion. A person understands that it is over, there is nothing left to save, but yet grasps for every straw. In this situation, it is better to be separated spatially, keep away and have some time to process the events in peace.
- Anger. Imagine a black morass occurring and seething inside you. Often the leftovers of love to another person turn into hatred and pointless reproaches. Revealing anger is better than keeping it inside until it bursts like a volcano. This is not the best solution. Even after the complete breakup, people can still send each other offensive messages via the Internet. This is a completely useless activity, that turns into a circle. Even if you get such a message, respect yourself and don’t respond.
- Negotiation. Freedom after ears of being imprisoned in the miserable marriage feels like a breath of fresh air. It’s like entering into a ventilated room. At first, people experience euphoria, realize endless possibilities that inspire them. But later it turns into misery because even the sweetest freedom loses its taste and becomes stale.
- Despair, loss. Processing a separation is painful. Even if you feel like you have accepted it, it’s a fake feeling. At this stage, people can numb themselves with alcohol, take psychotropic drugs. Tears are normal. They are healing the wounds. Contact people with the same problem – they can be found on internet forums. Believe in yourself, be grateful for all the goodness in your life. See the downsides of being in a relationship.
- Acceptance. The pain subsides, a person reorientates oneself, sets new goals, launches changes in his or her life: moves into a new apartment, meets new people, changes appearance, takes up new hobbies. Life feels beautiful to them again.
Tips On Accepting the Reality And Starting a New Life
“Happily divorced” is rare. The “we” becomes an “I” – and you have to get used to that. From now on you are alone. You live alone, spend your free time, weekends and holidays without a partner. How should life now go on? Many people ask themselves the question “Can I ever be happy again?”. These tips are inexcusably simple, but yet the most effective.
- Don’t bear this alone.
Contact family, friends, fellow sufferers, psychiatrists, family counseling centers and other contact points. Here you can find support, find solutions in a mutual conversation or simply exchange experiences.
- Treat yourself like a queen / a king
Life in partnership means then one puts the family in the front and center and neglects his individual needs. Once you are divorced, it is high time to shine. Dedicate time to yourself – even small everyday things can increase once shattered self-respect. Treat yourself with delicious home-made food, take a relaxing bath, get a gym membership and so on.
- Revive forgotten hobbies.
Adults are usually swamped into a mundane routine, letting their past hobbies to fall short. Going back to your hobby is a perfect distraction, that will inevitably bring strength and confidence.
- Discover Lara Croft or Indianan Jones in yourself.
Many fleshly divorced people tend to crawl in their homes and hide behind their day-to-day responsibilities. Isn’t it better to leave the comfort zone and meet the world outside the shell? New countries, new people, new experiences – awaken an adventurer in yourself.
- Think of the well-being of your children.
Remember Susan Meyer from the series “Desperate Housewives”? Her daughter, Julie, suffered to cope with all the household chores, as her mother was in depression after a divorce. Don’t let this happen to your children. Unlike marriage, you can’t end up parenthood. Children usually need two parents to be present in their life. Therefore, the former partners should put aside their pain and unwillingness to interact and keep an eye on the welfare of their children.
“Most people are as happy as they want to be”, – as Abraham Lincoln said. Unfortunately, divorce is a commonplace thing today. And even it hurts, it is still better to end a broken marriage than maintain it. The end is never actually the end. It is always a new start. There ways to improve your life, you just have to notice those opportunities. Instead of being stuck in the past and blocking the future, head towards the light at the end of the tunnel.