My Dear People,
The big news in the past few days was obviously the resignation of Kembo Mohadi as the vice-president of the country, such a rank amateur.
Why would a person of his stature resign over a small, small problem like having affairs and bedding (or is it officing) married women?
That’s par for the course.
When Bobstar was involved in an office r0mance with me, did he resign?
Obviously he did not, because if he had, he would not be the great statesman that he was.
A few years ago, the same outfit that exposed Kembo’s affairs, told us about Ngwena being made to run through maize fields after he had allegedly impreg_nated a former intern.
We still have Ngwena with us, he didn’t resign.
Then General Bae’s stories with women are well-documented.
Marry has not seen her children in months, while her predecessor, Jocelyn, was hounded out by the army.
But no, he did not resign.
You know what politics needs — real men with spine — amadoda sibili, not people like Kembo who just resign over small things like this.
Such a dishonourable thing to do.
Now that we have established that real men don’t quit, a key question that needs an answer is whether Kembo jumped or he was pushed.
The fall of Kembo reminds me of the days when I pushed out Joice and Ngwena. Kkk!
I have a sneaky feeling that Kembo may have stepped on the toes of my successor and she pulled the trigger.
That’s the only thing that makes sense.
There are murmurs that a relative of his was involved in a mine dispute with the famous twins.
Obviously thinking that as vice-president, he had the power to protect his relative.
My successor is fiercely protective of her brood and she may have struck the blow.
She learnt well from me, I must say, and at some point soon, the student will outshine the master.
That’s how prolific that one is.
Oh and the last word on Kembo: He will not be jobless for long judging by his resignation letter.
The man has a future as a teacher or a lecturer, as his resignation letter shows that he is a man of big words, a man who literally ate the dictionary and is now burping jawbreakers.
“The interconnectivity with social media ecologies have been relaying viral moral panics, peddling lies, creating myths and muddling the reality of my life as a family man,” goes the resignation letter.
It adds on about “virilisation” and “awkward slacktivism”.
My Bob was a master of English, in fact his command of the Queen’s language was legendary, but he has nothing on Kembo.
Who knew that Kembo had it in him to write such big and complex words?
Speaking of Marry, no woman or mother should go through what she is going though.
I am not her biggest fan; she was the biggest twerker for the coup that led to Bob’s resignation.
Her dancing during the inauguration was nauseating to say the least, while her haste to call herself second lady, whatever that is, made me vomit in my mouth.
But what is clear is that she is unwell and she should not be dragged through the courts in that manner.
If it is justice that is being sought, then wait for the poor woman to seek treatment first and then take her to court.
And she’s squealing on Twitter these days about the pain she is going through and there doesn’t seem to be any mercy for her.
General Bae should just be a little empathetic and allow her at least a few moments to see her children.
I am sure that the little ones would really love to see their mother, it’s been too long.
Whatever Joana Mamombe, Netsai Marova and Cecilia Chinembiri did to offend the powers-that-be must be huge.
I mean they are arrested routinely for the silliest things, they might as well be caged for even breathing.
Ngwena has been addressing hundreds of people at rallies and meetings and it’s not an issue.
But let Joana addressed a small press conference and she’s accused of contravening Covid-19 lockdown regulations.
Like honestly, there is one law for Zanu PF and another for the opposition.
The so-called press conference was a small event with barely more than 20 people, but the police think that’s a good enough reason to arrest these girls.
Why is the system afraid of such little girls?
While at it, Joana, Netsai and Cecilia might as well set up permanent rooms for themselves at Chikurubi Maximum Security Prison because this looks like a cycle that will repeat itself for eternity.
This is how it goes: They get arrested for something silly, a magistrate denies them bail, they appeal to the High Court, the judge reprimands the magistrate and sets them free and then they get arrested again.
Then the cycle goes on and on.
Know there is so much fake news on Bobstar, but he was surely not this vindictive.
Gushungo Chete Chete!
Dr Amai Stop it! PhD (Fake)
— The Standard