Hello Aunty Lisa
I’m 22, I’ve never had a boyfriend, and something tells me I never will.
Recently my best friend, who I’ve known since kindergarten, met someone – her first boyfriend ever.
‘m happy for her, but it has made me realise how lonely I actually am. I don’t like showing my emotions because in my family emotions are regarded as a weakness.
People around me think I’m heartless because I always have a stone face no matter what, but on the inside I feel happiness, pain and pleasure like any normal person.
I think this lack of emotion on the outside probably makes people from the opposite se_x not want to be with me because I’ll never giggle like an idiot just to make a guy think he’s funny.
The only one who can “read” my emotions is my best friend. I was tested at school and they said I have a higher than normal IQ.
I love reading, I love learning new things, and I’ll never fake not knowing something just so another person can tell me about it.
This pushes people away from me – they think I’m rude and just won’t talk to me. No one knows how hollow and lonely I am. I think I’m going through a depression or something, because I’m always angry and I’ve stopped laughing.
I haven’t laughed out loud in months. Please don’t tell me: “Think positive!”