Tears, looks of sadness and hurt were the hallmark of Tytan’s interview this week as he revealed that he was abused during his relationship and marriage to Olinda Chapel.
Tytan (real name Njabulo Nkomo), was interviewed on the Rumbidzai Show to give his side of the story after months of silence. He gave an insight as to what led to the break up with Olinda.
The abuse was varied; physical, financial and emotional is what Tytan (30) claimed that Olinda (37) subjected him to. He even said that one time when Olinda went on a rampage while they were in bed, her son witnessed him being pummelled by her.
He also claimed that he was told by authorities in the United Kingdom that he scored high on a scale to determine whether or not he was in an abusive relationship. He even said they wanted him to press charges against Olinda, a move he did not make because he loved her.
These revelations showed that not everything was rosy in the Nkomo household as it had its fair share of turbulence.
Clearly Tytan was not happy with whatever was happening in their home, but he held on silently suffering the whole time they were married, hoping that things will get better in the long run.
He claimed that Olinda has two characters, loving and caring on one hand, then quickly turning abusive, verbally and physically, in a split second.
But the question on everyone’s mind and mouth is “Why did Tytan stay in the relationship for such a long time?” Why didn’t he walk away if living with Olinda was so unbearable?
Is it that easy for someone to walk away from a toxic relationship?
The reaction by people on social media to Tytan’s narration of his ordeal, showed why men are often reluctant to report abuse because they feel embarrassed, fear they won’t be believed, or are scared that their partner will take revenge.
This might be the reason why Tytan who is the executive producer, also doubling as the production manager and branding and marketing for the Rumbidzai Show, decided to use it as a platform to say his side of the story without a judgmental person on the other end asking him questions.
And this interview was said to have been recorded three months ago and they felt that it was the appropriate time to release it.
Not many people believed Tytan’s story, many laughing at him which is what most men in such abusive relationships are afraid of. They fear what will society say, what will my friends say or my family.
Tytan even cried, which for some was just crocodile tears, feeding into the unbelievability of his story which was labelled as a faça.
It took Tytan a while to leave the marriage to speak out that he was abused. Perhaps the last straw was last week when Olinda is said to have accused him of being an irresponsible father to their child. He recorded a six-minute video giving a glimpse of how he was feeling at the time. He looked exasperated, beat down and fed up.
If a man is in an abusive relationship, they should watch Tytan’s side of the story as he relates some behavioural traits, signs and symptoms of an abusive spouse. Olinda who had invited Tytan to the United Kingdom because they were having a baby together, threatened to get him deported as she held the keys to his stay there.
It is well known that Olinda had the financial muscle in the relationship, and this is nothing surprising in the 21st century, but it seems from Tytan’s claims that she was using this to pin him down.
And this was one of the reasons that some people did not believe Tytan as a genuine person as they thought he was in it for the money and the chickens had come home to roost.
Whether people believe Tytan or not, there is a problem in society where men who are emotionally and physically abused cannot come out in the open.
Society still has not come to terms with the fact that women are not the only ones who are on the receiving end of abuse. The notion that a man should be strong and grit his teeth through the abuse might lead some to die at the hands of their spouses.
Furthermore, men should feel comfortable to come out in the open to speak about abuse without fear or judgment from society.