Letter to my people: Dougie aka Ra ra ra ra’s inglorious end
My Dear People
It seems the penny has finally dropped for the thoroughly discredited MDC-T leader Douglas Togaraseyi Mwonzora, who has pulled out of the presidential election.
The only surprise of his decision to pull out was that he has waited for so long to do so.
The writing had been on the wall for some time.
The crushing defeat his party suffered in last years’ by-elections where it failed to garner a single seat is a clear indication that taking over the opposition party headquarters and access to finances with the help of Ngwena’s dispensation of poverty, confusion and darkness was woefully inadequate for him to get votes.
Citizens are appalled by the skulduggery of the bespectacled fellow.
Perhaps he had hung on for so long as a result of the bottled smoke sold by one daily, which hilariously called him one of the country’s big three politicians along with Ngwena and Citizens Coalition for Change leader Nero and gave him generous coverage in which he spewed nonsense that had few takers.
It is ironic that he pulled out of the race as he criticised the unfair conditions in the run up to the election by the very people who assisted him to take over the party, a case of biting the hand that feeds you kkkk.
In a clear demonstration of the confusion and contradiction that plagues Mwonzora and his party, some of the party members will not follow suit and participate in the election, which their leader has called a sham and a farce.
The only positive for Mwonzora is that he has dodged what would have been a humiliating defeat at the polls that would have confirmed his irrelevance in the country’s body politic.
But give it to the man: He is an accomplished comedian who would have given the late Gringo a good run for his money.
Among some of his skits that have been given a new lease of life on social media is one where he is seen consoling his supporters after last year’s by-election shellacking.
Dougie said he dreamt Zec polling officers getting tired of calling his name during vote counting on August 23 until they just resorted to just saying “ra ra ra ra ra ra”
At least he has woken up from his dream before it became too late kikikiki.
The only person I feel pity for is the young Bertha.
Although it is understandable that this is an election season where politicians usually make daft pronouncements, Ngwena took it to a whole new level.
In his speech at a rally in Harare, the octogenarian claimed that those who would vote for Zanu PF would have secured their entry into heaven.
Such astounding claptrap makes me wonder whether it is just desperation by the Lacoste leader to get votes or if there is now an added dimension of senility that is creeping in.
Not to be outdone in the spewing of drivel was the excitable Passion Java who chanted Mbavha (thieves) for ED at the rally as part of his slogan at the gathering.
The utterance by Java though might not be entirely out of place given the high number of corrupt individuals in the beleaguered party.
This probably explains why Sydney’s chant of pasi nembavha (down with thieves) at the previous rally in Mashonaland East got such short shrift.
Still on that particular rally, the claim that people who attend the rallies enjoyed the dull monologues by Ngwena was exposed for the hogwash that it is when the Zanu PF commissar Mike had to beg people at the rally who were leaving the snoozefest to stay.
The poor people probably had had enough of listening to Ngwena drone on and on, not to walk out mumbling something about discipline and respect.
In future maybe, the Lacoste leader should add a bit more substance and charisma to his speeches to avoid such walkouts , although I fear this may be well beyond him to do so.
The roping in of convicted rɑpist Bobby Makaza to help validate Ngwena’s presidential campaign has shown that there are no lows this coup cabal will not plunge into.
Makaza was part of more than 4000 inmates granted amnesty in May this year to decongest the country’s prisons.
To make it worse Makaza, who was imprisoned for raping a 10-year-old girl, was allegedly pampered with a house and cash just for uttering that Ngwena huchi (is as sweet as honey).
I have always pointed out that Ngwena has honed being tone deaf to a fine art.
What message is he sending when he ropes in a disgraced rɑpist as part of his campaign, particularly to the young girl and her family, who are still traumatised by the ordeal at the hands of Makaza?
It is such a profound lack of judgment that illustrates why I fought tooth and nail against the probity-deficient Lacoste leader from taking over from Gushungo, who in terms of wisdom and foresight, are different as night and day.
While I am saddened that the Supreme Court and the Constitutional Court have shut out Tyson from contesting the presidential election this month, I applaud him for the tenacious fight he put up to contest despite the possibility of being arrested by the vindictive Ngwena regime.
Such is the cowardice of this coup cabal that it was rattled by a mere billboard set up by Tyson and one can only imagine how they would have quacked in their boots had he actually started his campaign on the ground.
Unlike some cowards we know who tweet in the bowels of some place in east Africa, Tyson has taken the bull by the horns. This presidential election will be poorer without him.
Gushungo Chete Chete!
Chatunga Chete Chete!
Dr Amai Stop it! PhD (Fake)
— The Standard