Hold onto your hats, folks, because the sleepy village of Upper Rangemore on the outskirts of Bulawayo, has just witnessed a showdown for the ages – a clash of horsepower versus donkey-power that ended with more laughs than injuries (well, almost!). Picture this: it’s the dead of night, the crickets are chirping, and a poor, unsuspecting police officer is about to have his evening commute turned upside down by a rogue scotch cart and a family with a serious aversion to car insurance.
The story begins at approximately 1:23 AM on 9 June 2025. Manase Madzimu (41), a resident of the ZRP Hillside camp in Bulawayo, was cruising along in his grey Ford Ranger, registered as AGQ 1338. Now, whether he was on a top-secret mission or just craving a midnight snack, we may never know. But what we DO know is that out of nowhere, a metal object protruding from a scotch cart decided to give his Ranger a little love tap from behind. Ouch!
Behind the reins of this donkey-powered chariot was none other than Wilson Nyirenda (41), who, according to the “source” (well, the police report), appeared utterly unfazed by the vehicular violation he had just committed. Perhaps he thought it was just a friendly game of bumper cars, donkey-style!
Now, Mr. Madzimu, being a man of the law (and probably not thrilled about his Ranger’s new dent), wasn’t about to let this slide. So, in a move straight out of a slapstick comedy, he engaged in a high-speed (well, relatively high-speed) chase after the scotch cart, determined to bring this donkey-driving desperado to justice!
The chase led them all the way to the Mbuwa plot in Rangemore, where things went from “slightly ridiculous” to “full-blown hilarious.” Madzimu, fueled by righteous indignation and possibly a bit too much coffee, jumped out of his Ranger and approached Nyirenda for answers. But little did he know, he was about to step into a trap worthy of a Looney Tunes cartoon!
According to court records, the Nyirenda clan unleashed a flurry of punches, slaps, and even a good ol’ fashioned flogging with a log! Yes, you read that right – a LOG! It’s safe to say that Mr. Madzimu probably regretted not just letting the donkey and cart go on their merry way.
The assault was so intense that our police officer had to seek medical attention, shelling out a whopping US$60 to get patched up. We can only imagine the conversation he had with the doctor: “So, how did you get these injuries, officer?” “Well, doc, it all started with a donkey…”
The trio appeared before Western Commonage Magistrate, Archie Wochiwunga, where they admitted to their roles in the brawl. However, they claimed they were simply protecting their father from a “furious man charging towards their homestead in the middle of the night.” Ah, the age-old excuse of “self-defence against a slightly dented Ford Ranger”!
All three pleaded guilty to assault charges, and the case has been postponed to 25 June 2025, for sentencing. One can only imagine what kind of punishment awaits them – perhaps community service involving cleaning up after rogue donkeys?
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