Dear Aunt Lisa,
My name is Chipo. I am writing to you from Harare, Zimbabwe seeking your wise advice. I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend Takudzwa for two years now. We l0ve each other very much and hope to get married one day.
The problem is that Takudzwa’s mother does not approve of our relationship and does not like me at all. Whenever I visit their home, she is cold and rude to me. She finds faults in everything I do and says I will never be good enough for her son.
Takudzwa has spoken to his mother many times, trying to convince her that our l0ve is real. But she refuses to listen. She threatens to stop helping him financially if he continues seeing me. Takudzwa depends on his mother’s support to pay for his studies, so he is reluctant to go against her wishes.
Aunt, my heart aches so much thinking that Takudzwa’s mother’s disapproval may threaten our relationship and future happiness. Takudzwa and I have not done anything wrong to deserve this treatment. We plan to work hard and build a good life together through honesty, l0ve and respect.
I need advice on how to handle this difficult situation. How can I show Takudzwa’s mother that I am a good person with good intentions towards her son? How can I make peace with her so she will bless our union? Please help me with your wise words, aunt. I place my hope and faith in your counsel.
Thank you in advance. I look forward to reading your advice that will help guide me through this challenge with wisdom and l0ve.
Your l0ving niece,
Aunty Lisa responds:
I’m so sorry to hear you’re going through such a difficult time with Takudzwa’s mother. I know how hurtful and upsetting rejection and disapproval from a l0ved one’s parent can be.
But try not to lose hope. This situation doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you or that Takudzwa’s mother will never come around. Parents just worry about their children and want the very best for them, and sometimes that blinds them to the good qualities in a partner that they don’t yet see.
My advice is to stay calm, patient and polite whenever you interact with Takudzwa’s mother. Focus on building a respectful, cordial relationship with her, instead of trying to “win her over” right away. Over time, as she sees your kind, thoughtful actions and loving care for her son, her guard may soften and she may become more open to seeing you as part of the family.
I also suggest talking honestly with Takudzwa about your concerns. Ask for his support and help in navigating this with his mother together as a united team. When his mother sees how seriously he takes your relationship, your bonds and your goals together, it may convince her that you’re meant to be.
Above all, stay true to who you are, Chipo. Live with integrity, compassion and grace, even in the face of disapproval. Those qualities will shine through – if not now, then in time. For now, focus on bettering yourself, nurturing your l0ve and planning for the future you and Takudzwa deserve.
I’m always here if you need any more guidance or someone to listen. Stay hopeful, sweet Chipo. Everything will work out in the end.
Lots of l0ve,