Dear Aunty Lisa,
I am writing to seek your advice on a troubling situation. I am a young girl living in Zimbabwe. I had been dɑting a boy I really cared for, we had been together for over a year. However, my best friend (who I considered like a sister) recently expressed an interest in him as well. Despite knowing my feelings for him, she began flirt!ng with him and eventually started dɑting him behind my back! When I found out, both of them lied to my face and said there was nothing going on.
I feel so betrayed and hurt. This boy meant a lot to me, and now my so-called “best friend” has snatched him away. I feel like I cannot trust anyone anymore. Please, Aunty Lisa, how do I move on from this heartbreak? How can I regain my self-confidence and self-worth after being toyed with in this way? And should I even try to remain friends with this girl who betrayed me so deeply?
Any advice you could offer would bring me comfort during this difficult time. Thank you kindly, aunty.
A devastated girl in Zimbabwe
Aunty Lisa responds:
I am so sorry to hear of this betrayal by someone you considered a close friend. It is heartbreaking to have your trust broken in such a painful way.
My advice would be first to focus on healing yourself. This breakup says more about the character of your former boyfriend and so-called “friend” than it does about you. You did nothing wrong. You cared for someone and trusted your friend, that is not a fault.
Do not blame yourself for their deceitfulness. Instead, see this as an opportunity for growth. You now know not to fully trust those two people again. But that does not mean you cannot trust others going forward. There are good, honest friends still waiting for you when you are ready.
For now, distance yourself from these two. Do not remain friends with someone who has hurt you so deeply. You deserve better companionship. As hard as it may be, try not to dwell on them or what happened. Focus your energy on your own growth, interests and other friendships.
With time and self-care, your confidence will return. You will meet someone worthy of not only your affection, but also of your trust. For now, be kind to yourself and give yourself time to heal from this disappointment. You deserve happiness and security in your relationships. Better days are ahead.
I wish you all the best and hope this helps provide some comfort. Stay strong, and feel free to write again if you have any other questions.