I fear losing the mɑrried man I’ve been with for 2 years as his wife plans to come to South Africa

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Dear Aunty Lisa,

I am writing to you for advice on a difficult situation. I am currently staying with a mɑrried man here in South Africa. We have been together for 2 years now. His wife lives back in Zimbabwe but now she wants to come join him here.

I am worried that if his wife comes, he will have to choose between us. I l0ve him deeply and do not want to lose him. But I also feel guilty for being the reason this family is separated. I care for his children too and want the best for them.

On the one hand, I want to ask this man to choose me and build a life together. But part of me knows that would be wrong and selfish. His children deserve to have their father with them. And his wife has done nothing wrong.

Aunty Lisa, I am so confused. My heart wants one thing but my conscience tells me another. Please give me some wisdom on how I should proceed. Should I fight for this man or let him go? How can I find peace with whatever choice I make? I desperately need some clarity and direction right now.

Thank you in advance for any advice you can offer. I want to make the right decision but I do not know what that is.




Aunty Lisa’s Advice:

Dear Netsai,

It is clear from your letter that you care deeply for this man. However, getting in between a mɑrried couple is never the right choice.

My advice is to let this man go and allow his family to be reunited. I know that will be difficult and painful for you. But in the long run, it is the honourable and moral path. His wife and children deserve to have their husband and father with them. You becoming further involved will only cause more hurt and chaos.

I encourage you to find the strength within yourself to end this relɑtionship gracefully. Let the man go with l0ve, wishing him the very best for his future with his family. If your connection was truly meant to be, it would not have begun this way.

Focus now on healing and moving forward. Learn from this experience and look for l0ve in the future with an unattached partner. You deserve a l0ve that does not cause others such pain. I hope in time you find peace with the decision to let this man go. His wife and children need him – please allow their family to be reunited.

You have a good heart and conscience. Follow that inner voice now, and the clarity you seek will come. Let me know if you have any other questions.


Aunty Lisa

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