PLEASE HELP: I am failing to forgive myself after I slǝpt with my best friend’s wife by mistake

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Dear Aunty Lisa,

I hope this letter finds you in good health and high spirits. I am writing to you today seeking your wisdom and guidance regarding a situation that has been weighing heavily on my conscience. I am finding it incredibly difficult to forgive myself after making a grave mistake and slǝǝping with my best friend’s wife.

The ɑffɑir happened during a vulnerable moment in both our lives, and I deeply regret my actions. Not only did I betray the trust of my best friend, but I also violated the sanctity of their mɑrriɑge. The guilt and remorse have been overwhelming, and I am struggling to find a way to move forward and find forgiveness within myself.

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I understand the consequences of my actions, and I am prepared to accept any repercussions that may come my way. However, the hardest part has been facing myself in the mirror and acknowledging the hurt I have caused to those I care about. I feel an immense sense of shame and disappointment, and it is eating me away.

Aunty Lisa, I am reaching out to you in the hopes that you can offer some guidance on how to begin the journey of self-forgiveness. How can I come to terms with the mistakes I’ve made and find a way to forgive myself? I want to learn from this experience, grow as an individual, and eventually mend the relɑtionships that have been damaged.

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Thank you for taking the time to read my letter, Aunty Lisa. Your wise words and advice would mean the world to me in this difficult time.




Aunty Lisa’s Advice:

Dear Joram,

Thank you for your heartfelt letter and your trust in seeking my advice. I understand the weight of the situation you find yourself in, and I commend you for recognizing the gravity of your mistake and your genuine desire to make amends.

First and foremost, self-forgiveness is a complex and personal journey that takes time and patience. It requires deep reflection, honesty, and a commitment to change. Here are some steps you can take to begin the process:

Acknowledge and accept responsibility: Take full accountability for your actions and acknowledge the pain you have caused. Understand that forgiveness starts with owning up to your mistakes and facing them head-on.

Make amends: While it may not be possible to fully repair the damage caused, consider ways in which you can make amends to your best friend and his wife. This may include sincere apologies, offering support, or seeking couples therapy to help them heal.

Learn and grow: Use this experience as an opportunity for personal growth and self-reflection. Understand the underlying reasons that led to your lapse in judgment and work on addressing those issues within yourself. Seek therapy or counselling to help you navigate through this process.

Practice self-compassion: Understand that nobody is perfect, and we all make mistakes. Treat yourself with kindness and compassion as you would a dear friend who is struggling. Remember that forgiving yourself is a vital part of healing and moving forward.

Give it time: Healing takes time, and forgiveness is a gradual process. Be patient with yourself and allow yourself the space to heal. Accept that it may take a while before you can fully forgive yourself, but trust that with effort and self-reflection, it is possible.

Remember, Aunty Lisa is here to support you, but it is also important to seek guidance from a professional therapist or counsellor who can provide personalized assistance throughout your journey of self-forgiveness. They can offer valuable insight and tools to help you navigate these challenging emotions.

Wishing you strength, growth, and the ability to find forgiveness within yourself.

With warm regards,

Aunty Lisa

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