My wife has given me an ultimatum: Change or I’m leaving you for good


Dear Aunty Lisa

My wife and I have been through so much together already. We started dɑting as teenagers and built a life from nothing but l0ve and grit. Though the going was tough financially, we supported each other through it all.

Now, after so many years, so many sacrifices for each other, my wife brings up something that shakes me: she’s considering leaving for a while.

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Why? Because of my anger. I’ve always had a temper, but lately it’s gotten harder to control. When my sweet wife suggested counseling, I refused – stubborn as always. I told her I could change on my own. But I haven’t, and she’s at her wit’s end.

Part of me wants to beg her to stay. The other part knows she needs space. I’ve taken her for granted, overlooked how my anger affects her. If leaving for a time helps her find peace, how can I refuse?

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Still, the logistics aren’t simple. We have kids. Businesses. Lives intertwined. I worry a separation won’t fix our hurt, just deepen the wounds.

No, the real change needs to come from within me. I need to seek help for my anger, learn healthier ways to deal with stress before it boils over. And we need marriage counseling, a safe space to both speak our truths and listen with compassion.

Maybe this crisis is a blessing in disguise. An opportunity to grow, to become the partner my wife deserves. Our story isn’t over – we still have so much life and love left to share. I just hope I’ve realized it in time, before I lose the greatest gift I’ve ever known.


Aunty Lisa responds:

Dear Nephew,

My heart aches hearing of the struggle in your marriage. Anger takes such a toll, on both those who feel it and those who endure it.

But I know the l0ve in your heart, and your good intentions for your family. Anger is never who we truly are – it is a wound, calling out to be healed. You have the power to change, with humility, wisdom and strength of spirit.

Seek professional help immediately. Admitting you need guidance is not weakness; it shows the depth of your desire to be a better man, husband and father.

Make amends to your wife. Show her, with actions not just words, that you recognize the hurt you’ve caused. Listen deeply to her concerns, and make space for her needs to be met. She has likely sacrificed much; now let her know you see her, you value her, you choose her still.

Your l0ve was strong enough to build a life and family. It can weather this storm, too, if you journey through it together. Within this struggle lies the seed of growth – for you both as individuals, and for your union as a couple.

The choice before you is clear: give in to anger, or rise up with l0ve. Please choose l0ve, my son – for yourself, for your children, for your precious wife. Your story is just beginning; don’t let anger write the end too soon.

With faith in your goodness and capacity for change, I send you my l0ve, wisdom and prayers. Walk this difficult road with an open heart, and peace will find you in time. The l0ve that brought you together remains, ready to lead you home again.

All my l0ve,

Aunt Lisa

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