PLEASE HELP: My wife comes home late most nights, when I ask where she’s been she bashes me


Dear Aunty Lisa,

I am facing a difficult situation in my mɑrriɑgǝ. My wife comes home drunk very late at night and when I ask her where she has been, she gets physically violent with me and beats me up.

I am currently unemployed and she is the one working and bringing income home. Her behaviour is concerning but I don’t know how to address it without causing further problems.

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Please advise me on how I can handle this situation in a wise manner.


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Aunty Lisa Responds

Dear Dave,

Thank you for writing to me about your concerning situation. No one deserves to be physically abused by their partner. Your wife’s violence towards you is completely unacceptable and wrong.

While her career and financial situation may be contributing factors, nothing justifies her behaviour. I would advise you to have a calm discussion with her about setting proper boundaries within your relɑtionship. Explain to her that violence is never an option and you want to build trust between you. If the discussion does not go well, consider seeking marital counselling together.

If the violence continues or worsens, for your own safety, I would suggest temporarily separating until she agrees to get help. You should not have to endure abuse. Stay strong and remember that you deserve to be treated with love, care and respect.

Take care,

Aunty Lisa

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