LULA LULA: My mɑrried neighbour is tempting me, how do I stop her advɑnces without causing drama?


Dear Aunty Lisa,

I am writing to seek your wise counsel on a delicate issue. I am a 26 year old man living in Zimbabwe. My neighbour, a mɑrried woman in her mid 30s, has begun openly fl!rting with me and inviting me over for drinks when he husbɑnd is away.

Though I find her attrɑctive, I know pursuing a relɑtionship would be wrong. Not just because she is mɑrried, but cheɑting itself goes against my moral values. However, she is becoming increasingly blunt about her intentions and it is making me uncomfortable.

I do not want to offend or embarrass her by refusing directly. What is the best way for me to politely but firmly turn down her advances while maintaining a peaceful neighbourly relɑtionship? Any advice would be much appreciated.

Thank you,

Worried Young Man


Aunty Lisa Responds:

Dear Worried Young Man,

It is wise of you to want to avoid compromising your values by rejecting this mɑrried womɑn’s advances. However, you must be direct and firm in communicating your stance.

I suggest speaking with her in person and saying something like: “I value our neighbourly relɑtionship but I’m not comfortable with you fl!rting with me. I do not want to disrespect your mɑrriɑge so please do not invite me over again.”

If she persists, repeat that you mean what you said and her behaviour is inappropriate. Avoid prolonged interactions and do not engage in any activities alone. Do not worry about offending her – you have done nothing wrong. She is the one behaving inappropriately.

If she continues harassing you, tell her husbɑnd about the situation or speak to a trusted elder for help. You have a right to live peacefully without being tempted to do something that goes against your conscience.

Stay strong and remember your character, values and integrity are what truly matter. I hope this helps! Feel free to write again if you have any other questions.

Best wishes,

Aunty Lisa

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