‘I’ve been married for 5 years but i still miss my ex – I cry when I see him with his wife and kids’

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Dear Aunty Lisa,

I hope this letter finds you in good health and high spirits. I am writing to you today because I find myself in a situation that has been weighing heavily on my heart. You see, I have been married for five years now, and yet I find myself still missing my ex-partner. It’s a feeling that I can’t seem to shake off, and it brings me great sadness whenever I see him with his wife and children. Deep down, I can’t help but think that it should have been me in his life, sharing those precious moments.

Aunty Lisa, I know you have always been a wise and understanding person, and I seek your guidance in this matter. I understand that I made a choice to marry my current partner, and I should be committed to making our relationship work. But the lingering feelings for my ex haunt me, and it’s taking a toll on my emotional well-being. I don’t want to be stuck in this state of longing and regret.

I wonder if it’s normal to still miss someone from the past even after being married for several years. I question whether I made the right decision, and if I should have followed my heart when I had the chance. These thoughts consume me, and I find myself crying when I witness my ex’s happiness with his new family. It’s a painful reminder of what could have been.

Aunty, I seek your advice on how to cope with these feelings. How can I find peace within myself and truly embrace the life I have chosen? Is it possible to let go of the past and focus on the present? I want to be able to appreciate the love and companionship that my partner offers me but find it difficult due to this lingering attachment to my ex.

Please help me find a way to move forward and find contentment in my current relationship. I value your wisdom and guidance, and I trust that you will provide me with the support I need.

With sincere regards,


Aunty Lisa’s Advice:

My dear Alicia,

Thank you for reaching out to me and sharing your heartfelt concerns. It takes courage to acknowledge and address these emotions that have been troubling you. Let me assure you that what you’re experiencing is not uncommon. It’s natural to reminisce about past relationships and wonder what could have been. However, dwelling on these thoughts can hinder your ability to fully appreciate and invest in your current relationship.

First and foremost, I encourage you to communicate openly and honestly with your partner. Share your feelings and concerns in a gentle and compassionate manner. Honest communication is the foundation of any strong relationship, and it will allow your partner to understand what you’re going through. Together, you can work towards finding solutions and strengthening your bond.

Remember that the grass is not always greener on the other side. It’s easy to idealize past relationships, especially when we only see glimpses of someone else’s life. Instead of comparing your current situation to what you perceive as an idealized version of your ex’s life, focus on the unique qualities and joys your current partner brings to your life.

Self-reflection is also essential in this process. Take some time to explore why these feelings for your ex persist. Is it because you are longing for the familiarity of the past, or is there something missing in your current relationship that needs attention? Understanding the root cause of your emotions can help you make informed decisions about your future.

Lastly, consider seeking professional help through therapy or counselling. A trained therapist can provide you with the tools and guidance to navigate these complex emotions and help you find clarity and peace within yourself. They can assist you in developing strategies to let go of the past and fully embrace the present, enabling you to build a stronger connection with your partner.

Remember, my dear, life is a journey filled with twists and turns. It’s how we handle these challenges that shape us. Embrace the love and commitment you have in your marriage, and with time and effort, you can find solace and happiness in your current relationship.

Wishing you strength, clarity, and a fulfilled heart.

With warm regards,

Aunty Lisa

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