‘I realised the harsh truth after lending my b0yfriend some money’

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Dear Aunty Lisa

For two years he made me feel like the luckiest girl in the world – charming, attentive and utterly devoted to me. We just “clicked” from our very first date.

But soon cracks began to show. Arguments became a regular thing and eventually we broke up, only to get back together a month later. Only now, the man I l0ved seemed like a stranger – distant, avoidant and constantly talking to other girls.

I tried to end things again, but he weaseled his way back into my life a year later. This time, he wanted nothing serious – just a “friend with benefits” arrangement. Despite my better judgment, I fell for his charms once more.

After lending him money, I soon realized the harsh truth: he was just using me to feed his ego, while pining after a “skinny, beautiful” woman who was “out of his league.”

His callous words crushed whatever naive hope I clung to. In that moment, the rose-tinted glasses came off for good. This man was not my soulmate – he was toxic.

So I finally summoned the willpower to block his number and cut all contact. It was painful at first, with memories still fresh from our “honeymoon phase.” But over time, speaking to myself with kindness and reminding myself of my worth, the pain faded.

Today I see clearly: I deserve a relati0nship built on trust, respect and mutual care – not manipulation and cruelty disguised as “l0ve.”

One day I’ll find real l0ve, but first I must Love Myself. And finally, after shutting the door on my toxic ex once and for all, that journey begins.


Aunty Lisa responds

It’s time to close this chapter and write your own l0ve story – one where YOU are the heroine, not him. Here are my 10 tips to move on from your manipulative ex:

1. Cut all ties – block him everywhere and go full no contact. Distance allows wounds to heal.

2. Reflect – journal your feelings to gain clarity on why you kept letting him back in. Even the smartest women fall for flawed men – forgive yourself.

3. Realize his issues have nothing to do with you – focus on rebuilding your self-worth.

4. Boost your self-esteem – adopt an attitude of gratitude. Appreciate yourself and avoid comparisons.

5. Remind yourself daily that you deserve better – a true partner who respects you, wants to share the joys and struggles of life.

6. Practice saying “no” – start small, commit to acting on your worth, even when it feels hard. It will get easier.

7. Pursue your passions – devote extra time to hobbies, activities that light you up and surround you with positive people.

8. See this as a growing experience – a chance to learn and choose better partners going forward. You got this!

9. Be kind to yourself – healing takes time. Celebrate every little victory, every step in the right direction.

10. You are so worthy of love – real love that lifts you up and makes life brighter. Focus on loving yourself first, the rest will follow.

You are the author of your story now. Turn the page and write the next chapter – one where you are the protagonist, happily walking away from a man who never truly deserved you. You’ve got this!

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