Dear Aunty Lisa,
I am at my wits end about my 18 year old son. He claims to be madly in l0ve with a beautiful 42 year old divorcee who showers him with gifts and attention. While I admire his spirit of adventure and young l0ve, I worry this relɑtionship is unhealthy and based more on her deep pockets than true compatibility.
My son insists I am being old fashioned and judgemental, but I can’t shake the feeling this so-called “sugar mɑmɑ” is taking advantage of his youth and naivety. He has already moved in with her and dropped out of college, spending his days living the high life while she funds their lavish lifestyle.
I fear my son is letting an infatuation cloud his common sense, and when this shallow fling fades he will be left with nothing – no education, no savings, and a damaged sense of self worth from being a “trophy b0yfriend”. Yet every time I try to gently warn him, he accuses me of not supporting him and threatens to cut me out of his life.
Aunty Lisa, please help me speak some sense into my foolhardy boy before he ends up with a broken heart and an empty bank account. Any advice you can offer to get through to him would be greatly appreciated.
Wishing for wisdom,
A Troubled Mother
Aunty Lisa Responds:
Dear Troubled Mother,
While I understand your concerns, threatening or judging your son will only push him away. A gentle and l0ving approach will be much more effective.
Start by telling your son that you’ll always l0ve and support him, no matter what. Ask open-ended questions to better understand his feelings. Remind him that wealth and gifts cannot replace true l0ve and connection in a relɑtionship, suggesting he proceed cautiously until he’s sure this woman l0ves him for who he truly is.
Offer to meet his partner so you can get to know her better and voice your concerns in a respectful manner. Most importantly, avoid blaming or criticizing his girlfriǝnd directly – focus instead on your son’s happiness and best interests.
With patience, understanding and unconditional l0ve, you may eventually get through to your son and help guide him toward healthier choices. But coming from a place of respect, rather than judgment, will give your wise words the best chance to reach his heart.
I wish you the very best in navigating this difficult situation with care and compassion. Your son is lucky to have a mother who l0ves him so deeply.
Hope this helps!